The Forgotten Story: Prologue
by ZaChaos
Summary: There's barely much time left. And for the last time before we part, I need to reassure and convey to him my feelings before there's no chance left. This will be my farewell.
1. Chapter 1: Secret to Keep

chapter 1 : Secret to keep

"If this means I can save his life, I would gladly keep it a secret.  
But is this what you really want?"

Nowaki looked towards Misaki worriedly as the slightly shorter,  
small figure trembled in front of him that seems so fragile.

"The saddest thing that can happen is if he is no longer around in  
my life anymore."

Even if he no longer remember me, that's fine. Misaki throbbed in  
pain as he tries to convince himself this is the best option. But in  
fact, this is really the only way left.

"Besides, there is no other alternative left, isn't it?"

Nowaki looked at the smile Misaki forces himself to put on, a bitter  
smile Misaki thought could hide away his pain from others. Fully  
aware of that meaning behind the smile, Nowaki only wants to give  
Misaki a hug and tell him there's no need to put a strong face here.

"Misaki..." Dont bear this burden alone, Usami-san wont wish for  
this as well, is what Nowaki wanted to say. But he swallowed it down  
his throat, knowing this is only going to make it harder on Misaki.

There's only this one path left. There's no doubt in his mind that  
Usami-san would choose to give up everything for Misaki, even his  
life.

Misaki has no choice.

"I'll be here with Usagi-san tomorrow again"

"Please keep your promise!" Misaki reaffirmed his intention to  
Nowaki with a darker tone that sounds like a threat than a request,  
reinsuring that no words shall be leaked to Usagi. 

* * *

If he knew, if he knew...Misaki swored in his heart that he would  
never allow this to happen. His fist tightened with nails deepening  
into his palm as he tries to grab on to that tiny hope even if he  
knows that it is a double-edged sword.

But...just...for now, the thing he should do right now is to just  
hide behind the mask and enjoyed the remaining short amount of time  
left until the love magic disappear along with the midnight strike,  
and along with the warmth of Usagi.

"Usagi-san, I'm home"

Except that there is no glass slipper in this love story.

* * *

The way back home is always filled with anticipation of joy, the joy  
of seeing Hiroko saying "Okaeri". Though Hiroki doesnt smile alot,  
but Nowaki knows him too well to be mistaken. He's just shy.

But the air tonight feels tense and a sense of uneasiness falls upon  
him. Scenes of life and death separation are common sight for  
doctors and they tend to choose to neglect that feeling of their to  
avoid getting emotional all the times, and he himself should be used  
to it too.

But this time, he cant shut off the flood of emotion swirling in  
his mind after seeing how Misaki 'planted' this hope, only to see  
him destroy it himself, despite knowing the fate that awaits the  
both of them.

"This is too cruel to watch"

[Please keep your promise] Am I really going to be an accomplice in  
this plan of his which is only going to hurt himself in the end.  
Nowaki will never let Hiroki bear this pain alone, is what he can  
only think of as he entered the house where Hiroki and him call  
"Home".


	2. Chapter 2: Time Left

Chapter 2: Time left

The time that they have been through together seems so short, yet in  
fact counted by days, it would have easily surpassed 1000 days.

Exactly how many times have I told Usagi-san 'I love you'. One, two,  
three...he's amazed that he actually can count with just that two  
hands of his. Though this is nothing to be proud of, but something  
to be regret about, Misaki thought.

Even if I start saying today, I'll still never be able to make it  
passed 100. Misaki chuckled staring into Usagi-san's face, that  
flawless face of Usagi that has chosen him out of so many people in  
Japan, how blessed and naive he has been in the past, never knowing  
to cherish the daily love message spoken to him and thinking there's  
always a next time to tell Usagi how much he loves him.

"What are you chuckling at"

"Nothing...Usagi-san, I love you"

Usami surprised and delighted gave a wide grin on his face that will  
charm any passerby, girls or guys, but it's one that only Misaki is  
allowed to see and which only Misaki has the power to make it appear  
on his face. He wondered what makes Misaki, the monk who rarely  
speaks of such stuff, says it out so naturally without even any slightest  
hesitation. Is today a big day? Nope, today's definitely isn't  
any big day. Or has Misaki eaten something wrong? Nope, no one has  
send any chocolate today.

Then he remembered.

[Usami-san, we hoped that you can do the surgery as fast as  
possible. It would be in your best interest to remove the tumour  
before it developed any larger.

And as of now, the success rate of the operation is relatively high.  
It's fortunate that it has been discovered in the early stages,  
however the success rate will gradually decrease as time goes by. So  
please make your decision quicky.]

"Foolish boy"

There is no way I will leave you behind without me by your side. He  
brushed through Misaki's soft, brownish hair from behind the sofa  
and slowly makes his way down, hugging Misaki from behind, laying his  
head onto Misaki's shoulder.

"I wont die peacefully with you crying by my bed side when that  
happens" Misaki hears Usagi's soft and comforting voice as it  
travels directly into his ear loud and clear, making his heart pumps  
even faster.

"That's why the time when I'm gone will only happens, if you are  
gone first." Usami knows deep inside when he said this, it's not out  
of his love for Misaki, but his own selfishness. Misaki only belongs  
to him, he wont allow Misaki to leave him behind and find a new love  
even if he knew Misaki will never ever betray him, whether he's  
alive or dead.

But to Misaki, these voices of sweet messages only made it harder to  
let go.

Usagi-san, it hurts. It really hurts.

There's not much time left for the both of us. Mist begins to form in  
Misaki's eyes as he think of how his Usagi wont be the same Usagi  
after the operation.

I'll never ever be able to repay you back for all that you have

given me. All those times that you keep reassuring me that our love  
is inseparable and give me confident to believe in you and myself.

"Usagi-san, I love you"

No matter how many times I said this wont be enough. It will never  
ever be enough to keep you by my side anymore.

* * *

["Misaki, I have to tell Usami-san.

It's not fair for Usami-san to not know the consequences of the  
operation when he's the one who has to undergo it."Nowaki cant  
bear to see the pair going on like this, especially after what  
Hiroki told him last night.

["Are you belittling me?

Are our relationship so weak that you cant even trust me enough to

share your burdens with me?"]

Nowaki's uneasiness forced these words out of Hiroki who dont  
usually express himself in their daily normal lives. But Nowaki  
really appreciate Hiroki in a way that Hiroki is always the first  
one to notice a change in Nowaki, bad or good. And it's because of  
this that he has a better idea of what he is doing.

"So this plan of yours is to know let Usami-san knows that he is  
going to lose part of his memories after the surgery"

"..."

"And then, what happens after that?"

"..."

"Do you think Usagi-San will still take on this surgery if he knows  
that he may forgets about me after the surgery"

Misaki argued in a loud voice, vesting out all his anger onto  
Nowaki. Who does he think he is, thinking that he knows what is the  
best for both me and Usagi.

"I'm regretful, but you have to know.  
Usami-san's circumstance is where the tumour is pressing on the  
nerves cell in the brain. Usami-san will definitely lose his  
memories, with or without the surgery. It's just a matter of time.

Slowly forgetting everything while staying alive or to stay alive  
forgetting everything in a snap. It's his choice, not yours."

Usami-san has the right to know his fate, including how his choice  
affect Misaki's fate as well, Nowaki deeply believed in this and  
hoped the harsh words can affect Misaki's decision.

Why does both choices lead to the same ending...I dont want Usagi-  
san to forget about me.

"I wont give Usagi-san even the slightest chance of hesitation" If  
neither choices can give both of us a happy ending... let me decide  
for him one that at least lead to his.

Usagi-san will still be able to smile even if he forgets everything  
about me. He won't remember anything, and then what will happen to  
me, what should I do then ... Misaki's anger turned into  
desperation, a sense of hopelessness spread through his body,  
weakening his limps as he slipped to the floor.

Misaki wants to think optimistically, a ray of miracle may happen  
that he still remembers. But fairy tales dont just appear  
out of nowhere. The higher the hope one holds, the harder one falls.

Droplets began to slip onto the floor from the figure on the ground  
in Nowaki's office. Nowaki was set in his mind to persuade Misaki,  
but looking at how Misaki is of right now, he became unsure of  
whether if he is doing the right thing.

He does not have the right to interfere in this matter if Misaki  
does not agree and given Misaki's emotional status right now, any  
words said wont be heard. And what if what he did now really only  
worsen the situation like how Misaki describe it, is he able to take  
responsibility of that...if Usami-san insist on not taking on the  
operation.]

Nowaki-san, thanks for keeping your promise. I'm grateful to you.

* * *

Lying next to Usagi-san on the king-size bed, Misaki took his time  
to take a good look at his lover in the dark silent room filled with  
toys and bears. Long eyelashes, straight upturned nose, thick lip  
with slight square jaw. His lover is indeed a stunning man.

Usagi-san has always been an attractive man in his eyes ever since  
Takahiro introduced Usami Akihiko to his life. Composed and  
surrounded by a majestic aura, Misaki was mesmerised by him even  
though he disliked his arrogant.

Funny how things turned out now, he was inspired to become a  
great man like Usagi-san then, but yet turned out to be the  
complete opposite of him.

Furthermore, he ended up as the lover of this man after a  
twist of story. How he wished this is the end of that fairy tale  
story. Happily Ever After...is still far away.


	3. Chapter 3: Nearing the End

Chapter 3: Nearing the end

The first snowfall in the city is always filled with excitement for  
many. The signal to the start of a cold weather, where everyone on  
the street starts to have a change of fashion. The signal to the  
endless fun snowball fight with the one closest to them.  
And the signal to the upcoming Christmas celebration, where Misaki  
and Akihiko always spent time together, enjoying each other's company  
and hard-thought presents.

But this December snow has a different meaning to Misaki. It seems  
more like a reminder to Misaki that time is ticking away seconds by  
seconds.

* * *

["I have decided to take the surgery right after Christmas"

"..."

1 month have passed since Usagi-san has learnt of the tumour,  
Misaki already knew this was going to come sooner or later. He was  
prepared to hear this, but when it comes to acceptance, he cant help  
but hope to delay this news even further back even if it means  
delaying Usagi-san treatment. He felt guilty for even having this  
thought but the acceptance of this news mean he has to accept  
everything that will be coming, including the fact that Usagi-san  
may not remember him any longer.

"Dont you worry, I'll be fine"

"..."

"I'll definitely be back by new year. And we will go the temple  
again this new year, I promised you"

But Usagi-san , it's not just this year, I want to go with you to  
the temple every new year. I want to celebrate with you on every  
valentine day, every birthday of yours, every small and big days  
with you.

"Not just this new year. It's every new year"

Misaki said in a jokingly, light tone but his redden and teary eyes  
betrayed him. Yet he stubbornly refused to let it flow off.

Akihiko understood the seriousness in the seemingly joking tone, and  
held Misaki into a tight hug as if he never ever want to let go of  
the person in it.

"Yup, it's every new year" I'll never let you go.

Misaki, wait for me.

I'll be back.]

* * *

Tomorrow's Christmas. The last 2 nights that remained till all  
things he thought he knew until now disappear, just like how the sun  
disappear from the sky horizon he is looking at right now. Once the  
glittery, sparkling sun sets, darkness sets in erasing the once  
orangish-red horizon. Except that the sun that belongs to Misaki may  
never rise again.

He held firmly of the box he has in his hands as he patiencely waits  
for his sun.

Misaki turned his face away from the balcony as he heard the  
familiar footstep sounds. And there he is, his sun slowly walking  
down the stairs towards him, like a prince approaching his princess.  
Misaki looked closely at Usagi-san, remembering him for this one  
last christmas that Usagi dressed up specially for him. Dressed in a  
blue collared stripe shirt, covered in a navy coat and the black  
wollen scarf he personally knitted and given as one of the Christmas  
present.

Misaki recalled back to the times where he complained numerous times  
trying to figure the knit-knot of the scarf. But seeing at how  
delighted the receiver is, just makes everything seems so much worth it.

There's no gift better than a smile specially for him from the one he love.


	4. Chapter 4: Once Again

Chapter 4: Once again

Silently, snowflakes began falling from the pitch starless night  
sky, gradually piling up snow on the road where a red car sped  
through. Sitting within is that of a young man in his twenties with  
an innocent face staring into that endless sky and a man in his  
thirties that is holding a gentle warm smile driving in this  
tranquil night sky. Silent filled the atmosphere, yet neither felt  
anything unusual or awkward. They are like an old couple that has  
grown used to each other company that any excessive words is not of  
necessity at this current moment.

Looking through the car window that's slowly getting misted by the  
melting flakes that dropped onto it, varies light decorations get  
refracted through the water droplets into the eyes of Misaki.  
Everything outside seems so mystical, just like the lives of both  
usagi-san and his. How they first met via his brother, how he  
realized his brother and usagi-san relationship, how their  
relationship ended and how he and usagi-san comes to the point they  
are right now.

Let this quiet moment continues on into infinity, Misaki wishes  
towards the non-existence stars as the car gradually head towards  
the theme park they once came before long ago.

* * *

Despite the falling snow, the theme park continues to operate as  
normal. Akihiko lets out a sigh of relief, but anyway even if it  
decided to stop, he will still use all his connection and powers to  
make sure it continues operating tonight and pass tonight.

"Misaki, lets go" Akihiko looked at his dear lover gently and  
reached out his hand towards Misaki.

Misaki looked at that hand with hesitation. There's no unwillingness  
in him, but he is too wary of how they will appears in the eyes of  
others. They are not a normal couple.

If I have been born a girl, everything would be that much simpler.

Yet Misaki still held his hand forward to Usagi's, raising his  
held-down head and looking into usagi's eyes firmly with a smile,  
fingers intertwining with usagi's tightly. "Let's go"

But things are fine as they are now, even if i'm not a girl, we are  
still in love.

* * *

Within the cabin of the Ferris wheel, Usagi-san quietly sat at one  
corner of the seats with sad, empty eyes that seems like an  
insecured cat that has been abandoned and it frightened me. Back  
then, I had a feeling if I dont say something, we are only going to  
stray further and further away from each other. I never ever wanted  
that.

At that time, I didnt realise what Usagi-san has been worrying about  
until then. Usagi-san has been uneasy all this time and always  
thinking of me before him. I was the one who misunderstood, the one  
who didnt know anything was me.

Though I dont get what love meant, but these are the words I really  
wanted to say to him then.

["Don't worry, Usagi-san.

I really love you"

"If I really hated you, I wouldn't have stayed with you until now

already"]

Till now, I still dont get what love means, but I know I'm the cause  
of Usagi's expression back then and it pains me. He's not as strong  
as I thought he was, Usagi-san is a normal person in love just as I  
am, and we are nothing, but just fragile beings. That's when I  
realised my feelings to want to stay beside him and protect him.

Usagi-san is that one and only.

And here we are, back to that same place, within the cabin that held  
a piece of our precious memories. The tokyo tower that shines bright  
red in the far distance is still the same as always. But we are no  
longer the us we were once before, confused and insecure. We are  
fully aware of our feelings for each other.

And for the last time before we part, I need to reassure and convey to  
him my feelings before there's no chance left. This will be my  
farewell.

* * *

This place holds a deep meaning to me. This is where Misaki  
reassured me his feelings.

["Misaki, it may be a good idea if you stop involving yourself with  
me"

"i dont want to hurt you, Misaki"

"What scares me the most is losing you, Misaki"]

Back then, I felt uneasy. Misaki doesn't reject my advancement, yet  
he won't mention any of his feelings towards me. I was anxious.  
I really want to know how Misaki felt towards me, even a simple  
'like' would be enough, that's why I kept forcing these words and  
myself onto Misaki. Begging for a tiny hope that he will return  
these feelings.

But what I failed to realise is his thoughts back then. A young  
teenager for the first time falling in love, what's more with me, a  
person of the same sex and much older than he is. He must have been  
more confused than how I was back then.

We were both ignorant back then.

I thought I was only forcing myself onto Misaki, and even thought of  
saying my goodbye to him in this cabin. If this was really the case,  
I rather choose to set him free before we go any deeper  
until I cant let him go. I rather choose to die of heartbreak now.

But Misaki is a much stronger kid than what I thought he is. I  
really underestimated him...


	5. Chapter 5: Fireworks

Chapter 5: Fireworks

As the firework get sets up in the sky, no matter how brilliantly it  
bloomed out, at this moment, Misaki only had his eyes onto Usagi.

"Neh, Usagi-san remember what I said here before"

"About how you totally don't understand English?"

"Hey, that's not it."

"..." Akihiko chuckled out loud. I know, how can I not remember. How  
can i ever forget the words Misaki said to me here, it's one of the  
happiest memory I have in my entire life.

I can't imagine a life without you, Misaki.

Ironically, seeing his laugh seems to blew away the slight annoyance  
Misaki felt, caused by that same individual. A simple laugh from the  
loved one is really a cure for all unhappiness.

* * *

"Usagi-san"

"..." A serious face on Misaki replaced Usagi-san laughter with a  
worried look. Misaki cant help but laugh at the tense atmosphere  
Usagi-san create in this cabin, when he's about to do something  
really serious.

"Usagi-san, you worry too much. What I'm gonna say isn't bad"

Misaki said in a teasing tone, enjoying every seconds of this  
moment.

"It's not pointless" It's never a pointless thing if it matters  
Misaki.

Thump thump, the heartbeat keeps beating faster and louder. Does it  
belongs to mine or usagi's? Or is it the both of us?

Misaki's mind flashes back their past as he stood up and bent down  
on one knee, continuing with the plan he was executing with.

Regardless of how much pain we have been through, we have made it  
past this far till now. And now I will like to say to you,

"Usagi-san, I love you. Will you marry me" Opening the box he has  
been keeping in his pocket, Misaki said this words unable to control the  
tears he's been holding back till now. Is this tears for the happiness he's  
feeling right now or one for the future he knows that awaits him, Misaki  
doesn't know anymore.

Our fate has brought us this far, and now it's time for me to close this  
story with a happily ever after full-stop before the new story begins for  
you and me as strangers.

* * *

"Misaki" this surprise is something Akihiko never expected from the  
shy Misaki. His Misaki has really has grown up.

Bending down his knees, he gently lifted his fingers to Misaki's  
face, removing away the tears droplets that slipped off to Misaki's  
cheeks.

"These tears will be your last.

I'll never let you drop another tear in the future.

Entrust your future to me, Misaki"

"Why does it seem like you are the one proposing now?" Misaki  
laughed while tears continue to fall. This must be the tears of  
happiness, Misaki thought.

Hanging the necklaces of ring, which carved U.A. & T.M on both rings,  
over each other necks, they swear their oath of marriage under the night sky  
that's blooming in sparkles of fireworks.


	6. Chapter 6: Farewell

Chapter 6: Farewell

The first night of Xmas seems to come too soon, not slowing down any  
time for the pair of lovers.

One who knew that tomorrow is the end of his fairy story and has  
abandoned hope for any miracle, yet continues to pray for the safety  
of his loved one.

One who prayed for himself to be safe for the sake of the one he  
loved, to be by his loved one's side forever and after.

Both completely in love with each other and wishes for the same  
prayer, yet completely unaware of each other's intentions.

And the harsh night just passed by like how it should with each  
seconds ticking by with every thousand milliseconds. What is fated  
to happen, no one has the ability to stop it, but to helplessly  
stand there and see everything occurs, not able to resist it.

* * *

"Misaki, I'll be back soon. And by then, I won't ever say goodbye  
again" Akihiko brushed through Misaki's fling and laid a soft kiss  
onto his lover's forehead.

"Remember I'm with you no matter where I am" Akihiko held tightly  
onto the ring in his necklace, making a promise to himself that he  
must be back by Misaki's side.

Slowly closing the door behind him, Akihiko heads towards his fate  
in the hospital, leaving Misaki alone in his room not aware that  
this night will be the last time they are going to see each other.

* * *

Misaki awoke in the morning, only to find Usagi-san missing. He  
searched over the entire house, repeating over and over again the  
name of his loved one.

But there's no one left in this house beside him and Suzuki-san.

"Usagi-san, baka" Misaki knew exactly where Usagi-san has gone, but  
he can't bring himself to face the Usagi-san now. He knew it's too late,  
the operation should have ended by now and his fragile heart's too  
weak to accept things as it is now.

He should have forgotten me by now. Not a single memory will be  
left. It's too late... Tears started dripping down like a tap that  
someone has forgotten to close.

["This tears will be your last.

I'll never let you drop another tear in the future"]

"Liar" liar, liar, liar...

Sobbing noises echoed through the empty house until a certain person  
can't resist his tiring eyelids from shutting down, bringing along  
his broken heart to his sleep.

* * *

The evening sky shone through the window into the living room,  
brightening the space up except for the heart of Misaki.

Misaki sat restlessly on the sofa in the living room, looking at the  
missed calls he has gotten from Nowaki. More than 30 missed calls  
since this morning, he wanted to return his call but he don't know  
how he should react to his call.

Telling him i'm fine when i'm not fine.

Telling him it's okay when I'm not okay.

Crying wont solve anything.

Laughing is not what i'm capable of now.

"Forget about it!"

Misaki lies on the sofa, hugging Suzuki-san for comfort. But the  
warmth he longs for isn't there, that warmth that belongs to Usagi-  
san. Misaki wants to forget everything about Usagi-san, every single  
memories they once shared only hurts his heart more and more as if  
it has been pierced through thousands and thousands of times.

Everything in this house kept reminding him of Usagi-san. The  
working table he used to write his novels on, the dining table they  
used to dine together, the living room where they shared their  
intimate moments at, the room where he and usagi-san shared their  
countless nights together... and the Xmas tree they spent time  
decorating it together is still shining brightly right infront of him.

And the box below it!

Misaki was sure it wasn't there before. Then it must have been  
Usagi-san.

Despite wanting to forget about Usagi-san, Misaki knows that he is  
only lying to himself. That's no way he can ever forget a person  
like him, arrogant and inconsiderate.

[To my dear Misaki. From Usagi Akihiko]

Misaki picked up the card that fell from the box he put on the  
living room table and anxiously flipped open the card that his lover  
has written to him, to once more feel his existence surrounding him  
as if he was still around.

[Misaki, by the time you read this letter, my operation should has  
ended. And my fate set.

Please forgive me for my cowardness for leaving without saying a  
word. Every moment with you only makes it even harder to say  
goodbye, and I chose to run away.

I'm scared of leaving you behind, I'm afraid of seeing you cry. But  
I'm most terrified that I won't be able to make it back to your side  
anymore. I really am selfish.

I get jealous and hurt easily too. And my greed for your love messes  
things up. There's too much things that made meundeserving of your  
love. But you accepted all that of me, not just the talented novelist  
that world sees of me, including the timid me full of flaws.

Someone said there's no future in our relationship. But haven't we  
made it past so far. Please know that there's not even a slightest  
doubt in me, our love doesn't need others' acknowledgement. Please  
know that I felt blessed to have met you, you who shared my joy and  
pain with, you who's always thinking for me, and you who taught me I  
can still love.

There's no such a person in the world I wanted to treasure as much  
as before as now.

If you have the same feelings as I have, please open the box. It's  
my Xmas present to you and a prove of my faith to you.

I love you, Misaki.

Wait for me. I'll be back.

Usagi Akihiko]

I too am selfish. I hid everything, thinking it's for your best  
interest. But in the end, it was only me.

The writings gradually became unreadable with drop of tears that  
smudged the ink. Misaki anxiously uses his sleeve to dry the piece  
of paper Usagi-san left behind for him.

"Sorry...for not telling you everything.

Sorry... for betraying your trust.

Sorry... for letting go of your hands"

His hands reached trembling towards the box, the present Usagi-san  
has prepared for him.

Opening the box and taking a look at the present within, Misaki cant  
hold onto the barrier he placed in his heart as it shattered into pieces,  
his redden eyes get once more over-crowded with tears. The box  
inevitably fallen onto the ground.

He sobbed bitterly, drowning in sadness. The once robust Misaki,  
full of spirit has now been reduced to nothing, but a pale, delicate  
being.

And a piece of marriage paper lies on the ground, lonely with one  
signature, awaiting its partner to complete the circle.

Prologue. End


End file.
